Carly constantly thinks about her soured relationship with Don and how she could have been so wrong about an individual. Everything seemed to be working fine until he suddenly started to make excuses to not spend time with her. It wasn’t so much the lame excuses as it was his weak attempts at apologies. Her whole focus was on “what did she do” to cause him to lose interest. These ruminating thoughts consumed her every waking moment.
When your head is filled (ruminating) with one single thought that keeps repeating and repeating, causing anxiety, stress and emotional trauma this can be a sign of prolonged depression. Once stuck in this cycle, it is often hard to get out. If you do find yourself caught in this cycle, try to get out as quickly as possible. Focusing on a negative past is usually not a positive option.
In an article from Healthline, Apr 18, 2019, Erica Cirno recommended the following possible ways to help break this cycle:
- Distract yourself – call a friend, read a book, get a hobby, investigate things you enjoy.
- Develop a plan of action-plan how to address the problem.
- Take action-refer to your action plan
- Question your thoughts-put your thoughts in perspective
- Readjust your life’s goals-set realistic and obtainable goals
- Work on enhancing your self esteem-build on your existing strengths
- Try mediation-find a quiet place and focus on breathing
- Understand your triggers-make a mental note of the who, where, what when, why and how of your situation
- Talk to a friend-dialogue about perspectives rather than ruminate
- Try therapy – a therapist may be able to help you identify why you are ruminating.
Dr. Lorena Davis